Barely Breathing
by Misha Schmidt
Summary: They lock eyes, and James could feel all the emotions flood back, and he wants to hold Kendall, but he tells himself no, that Kendall was the one who broke up with him. The music swells and James is barely breathing as the emotion in Kendall's eyes are stripped raw for James to see. Kames, Smut.


**I can't remember the last time I wrote a fanfiction o.O And, now is like the worst time to write one because I have Spanish and French orals tomorrow & Thursday. This story, though, has been in my mind for a while. It's based on the episode on Glee where Emma and Will were gonna get married. Well, yanno the Klaine "sex" scene? Yeah, something like that. The FEELS omfg  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own lyrics used: Barely Breathing by Duncan Sheik (which Blaine sang (ft. Finn) right before he cheated on Kurt) and Just Can't Get Enough by Depeche Mode (which Klaine sang at the wedding... the lyrics are mixed up btw)...**

**Forgive me if it's terrible, like I said, I haven't written a story in a while :)**

* * *

Cause when the daylight comes, I will have to go, but tonight I'll hold you so close - Daylight by Maroon 5

* * *

_Cause I am barely breathing  
And I can't find the air  
I don't know who I'm kidding  
Imagining you care, and I could stand here waiting _

_A fool for another day _

_But I don't suppose it's worth the price _

_It's worth the price, the price that I would pay_

James sighs, pressing the "pause" button on his iPhone, and the song that's belting out comes to an immediate halt. The song that's been on replay since... since Kendall left.

He tugs at his green silk tie, eyebrows furrowing as he tries to tie it again but it simply slips out, hanging limply around his neck. His mind flashes back to the last time he wore a tie, a year ago, at Gustavo's wedding.

At that time, Kendall was there to help him. Where was he now? James' eyes darken as he remembers the blonde, but he pushes all thoughts aside as the door opens and Logan steps in the room.

"Carlos is ready," he says, and he rushes over to fix James' tie. "Come on, Jamie. We have to go."

Carlos' wedding. James never thought this day would come. But here it is, staring James in the face, and it was the most ridiculous way James thought he'd see the blonde again.

Almost as if he's reading James' mind, Logan whispers, "Kendall's coming late. The airport's been snowed out for the whole week, and he's not sure what time he's coming."

James sighs, but he's not sure whether he's relieved or disappointed. He follows Logan to the altar, where Carlos is standing, bouncing on his feet, practically radiating positive energy. Yet James' heart skips a painful beat whenever he thinks of seeing the blond again.

He doesn't think he could handle seeing him, yet alone touching him. But James knows that Kendall is the leader of the group, the alpha, and he would fucking _run_ from LA to Minnesota if he had to, just for one of his friends.

The wedding goes through perfectly, a result of months of planning by Carlos and Stephanie and Logan. James had been a bummer for most of those months, moping around the house, because practically everything reminded him about Kendall.

James drives up to the hotel, the words 'Mystic Lake Casino Hotel' casting a bright blue over his surroundings. Carlos has rented one of the most expensive hotels in Minnesota for his reception, claiming that 'Stephanie was worth every single cent that I own'.

He bites his lip, as he follows Carlos and his wife into the entrance of the hotel to wait for the other guests to arrive.

The bell boy shows them to the rooms they would be staying in for the night, and it's as James is closing his door, he hears that voice. _Kendall_. He stops in his doorway, heart in his throat, the echoes of the blonde's voice radiating through the open door to Logan's room.

"Kendall," James hears Logan shout, and there's a soft thump, where James assumes that Logan probably jumped Kendall. "How did you get here? Logan said that all the airports in Minnesota were snowed out-"

"I took a plane to Milwaukee, then I rented a car and drove here," that silky voice drones, and James' chest tightens, and his head floods with emotion as Logan goes on a long rant on how Kendall shouldn't have done that, blah, blah, blah.

Their voices near the doorway and James can't run because the closing door would be too obvious, and the nearest corner was either past the door, or too far away. So he makes a show of closing his already-closed door, as Kendall and Logan exit the room.

He turns, and his heart stops, for just a millisecond, but it's enough. Kendall is _beautiful_. He's gotten about a few inches taller, and a hundred times more beautiful. His skin was a golden color and his eyes were a sparkling green.

They lock eyes, and James could feel all the emotions flood back, and he wants to hold Kendall, but he tells himself no, that Kendall was the one who broke up with him.

Logan clears his throat, and a small smirk filters across Kendall's face, and he stretches his hand out, saying "James," like nothing's ever happened between them. No nights under the stars, no cuddles in bed, no kisses, no dates, nothing.

James stares at his outstretched, mentally debating whether he could touch Kendall again. He looks Kendall in the eyes, and he could see the blonde was testing him. He raises his hand and grasps the blonde's soft palm, almost gasping at the shock passing through his hand, and he pulls it away quickly.

Kendall looks at his hand, almost as if it betrayed him, but James could see in his eyes that he felt it too. Logan sighs, and pulls James aside, telling Kendall that he should go find Logan, and he does, but not before locking eyes with James for a while.

Logan pulls James along, saying "He was meaning to tell you before, but Carlos really wants you and Kendall to do a duet. You two have the best voices in the group and-"

James yanks his hand out of Logan's grip, staring at the brunette as if he'd just talked German and sprouted five heads. "I-I can't, Logan," he whimpers, he can't get that pair of green eyes out of his head.

"Please," Logan begs, "For 'Los, for the first dance. He needs you James. You've never let him down," he says, and James remembers that Logan is more important to him right now than some sexy green-eyes douche bag that James would give _anything_ to kiss.

James nods, mentally regretting it, but he can push down his emotions for Carlos. He walks out to the ballroom, where the reception would be held, and out of the huge crowd, his eyes immediately fall on one person.

It's only then he realizes that even after a plane trip and a six hour drive from Milwaukee to Minnesota that Kendall's outfit is still perfect. He's wearing a mint green silk shirt with a white jacket and pants. His tie was the same one that James wore to Gustavo's wedding, and as he realizes that, he almost chokes.

Kendall sees him, and for the third time their eyes lock, and James' heart skips a beat. He forces himself to be calm, as he walks over to Kendall, a small smile on his face, as he asks him what song he wants to sing for Carlos and Stephanie's first dance.

His eyes widen as he hears the song chosen, but it's not like he has a choice, Carlos and Steph had chosen it.

They climb on stage, and James tries his best to stay away from Kendall, but the blond still brushes against him and goosebumps practically litter his skin.

The music starts and James' throat tightens. Without even gesturing, Kendall starts singing, because this is how it always was. They always sang together, knowing where the other was stopping, knowing where the other was going to start.

James looks at the couple on the floor, swaying gently, and Carlos sends him a grateful smile. The music swells and James is barely breathing as he sings, pouring his heart out.

_We slip and slide as we fall in love, _

_And I just can't seem to get enough of_

_It's getting hotter, it's a burning hotter, _

_And I just can't seem to get enough of_

_You're like an angel,  
And you give me your love,  
And I just can't seem to get enough of..._

His eyes meet Kendall's for a second during his singing, and he almost falters, the emotion in Kendall's eyes are stripped raw for James to see, before he turns away, but this time Kendall's singing his different, it's almost like he's singing to James.

_And when it rains,_

_You're shining down for me,_

_And I just can't get enough,_

_And I just can't get enough,_

_Just like a rainbow, _

_You know you set me free,_

_And I just can't get enough_

_And I just can't get enough..._

They finish the song, and the music falters away as the crowd applauds them, and their soft lullaby is diminished by loud blaring music, that fills the entire room. The song had ripped them open for the other to see, their want still lingering for each other. James fights it, as he walks off the stage, eyes shut tightly, a tear slipping out.

"James," he hears the soft, silky voice, somehow over the bass, that's pounding out a staccato beat, the vibrations rippling through James' body. "We need to talk."

Softly, without looking at Kendall, he tells him that they should go to his room. The bass racing through his heart is confusing him through emotion and reality.

Kendall follows him silently to his room, and James closes the door, leaning heavily against it. No words spoken, but just looking into Kendall's eyes, James could read everything the blonde wants to say to him.

They fly across the room into each other's arms, and James' buries his head in Kendall's shoulder, holding back the tears that threatened to come.

It feels so good, even after a year, their spark hadn't diminished. Kendall pulls back and looks James in the eyes, lips parting to probably say "I'm sorry", or say some other pathetic excuse. James cuts him off by pressing his lips to the blonde's, and almost immediately they're moving in sync, just like old times.

Kendall pulls away, seemingly against his will, resting his head on James' shoulder. "Jamie- baby- I..."

His voice wavered, and James could feel his tears wet through his jacket. "Kendall, why are you crying?", he whispers, pulling back to look the blonde in the eyes.

Kendall shakes his head, slowly. "I don't- I don't know. Jamie, I'm so-"

James cuts him off, because he just doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't want to remember that night, a year ago, the worst night of his life. He wants this night to cancel out all his pain that he felt for the last year. "Kendall, it's okay..."

And it _was_ okay, because the blond was back in his arms. That's all he wanted, right?

But the blond is shaking his head rapidly, biting his lip. "It's _not_..."

James wants him to shut up, so he kisses him. The connection never died, and James fists his hands in Kendall's hair, feeling to cry because hell, he was _fucking kissing Kendall_. Kendall wraps a hand around his waist, pulling him closer, till there was no space between their bodies, no part left unaccounted for.

James slides a hand under Kendall's shirt, feeling the ridges of muscle, almost as foreign land. A year ago, Kendall's chest had been flat, but now, pulling off his tie and pushing the jacket and shirt off his shoulders, James is breathless by this new Kendall, his pale skin stretching tight over hard muscle. He unties his tie, and throws it in a random corner of the room, and when he takes off his jacket and shirt, Kendall pushes him down on the bed, straddling him.

There is a pause, and James looks down, to see Kendall staring down at him, as if he's watching a heavenly being, or something he's been longing for for a while.

"Kendall," James whispers, and the blonde is broken out of his trance, moving to cover James' body with his own, uniting their lips. Kendall tugs at James' hair, and the brunet's hips involuntarily buck up, colliding with Kendall's hips, causing them both to moan softly. James almost wants to stop, just stop and take in Kendall right now, he's missed this, missed how melodic even Kendall's moans could sound.

But he doesn't. It's a dream, being here with Kendall, after an entire year of thinking of the blonde, feeling as if he'll never see him again. Now here they were, and James' heart feels as if it could burst. Kendall's eyes meet his, and they're full of emotions.

"Do you-" Kendall stops, the rest of his sentence hanging midair. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

James just answers him by flipping them over, not sure how to explain to him that part of his year-long depression was being fucked into oblivion almost every day by any blone guy or girl he could find at the stip clubs. And paying them extra when he moaned Kendall's name and not theirs.

So fuck _yeah_ he wanted to do this.

He kisses the blonde's chest, making his way down, admiring the view. He bites down on Kendall's nipple, and he breathes in harshly. James undoes Kendall's pants, choking when he sees Kendall's commando. He looks up at the blonde who shrugs, saying "I was in a hurry, and I kinda forgot my underwear."

James grins because the guy is so adorable. He looks at the blonde's dick, that's lying against his stomach. He holds it, sucking the tip gently, hearing Kendall gasp out a broken "Jamie". Kendall tastes so _good_. James sucks harder, moving over Kendall's member. Kendall's gasping and mewling and tugging at James hair that makes him moan around Kendall's dick. The sounds that Kendall's making sends thrills down James' spine. He's missed this, he's missed having Kendall on the same bed with him, both of them moving together.

Kendall has his hand fisted in James' hair, and his hips are thrusting up.

"Jamie, I'm-" he doesn't even get to finish his sentence, when he's coming, and James swallows it, loving the taste. No one tastes as good as Kendall Knight.

James goes up to kiss Kendall, and when they break apart, Kendall says, with a small smile on his face, "You're still as good as before, Jamie", and James blushes because he's a fucking girl. Kendall rolls them over and as he reaches down to unbuttons James pants and slide them down his legs with his boxers. He breathes something, as he stares at James' bare body, and it sounds as if he said "Beautiful", but James isn't sure. He goes to prepare the brunet, but by just a glare from James, he withdraws his hands.

"You're sure?" Kendall asks quietly, and James thinks it's adorable, that he's being a gentleman, but James was getting fucking impatient.

James wraps his feet around Kendall's waist, and the blonde, pushes in slowly, but there's barely any pain, and he snaps his hips forward, and James makes a sound between a choke, a moan, and a yell, as Kendall finds his prostate in one thrust.

How is it, that after all this time, Kendall still knows James better than anyone else?

Kendall pulls back slowly, and James doesn't feel the coldness of the AC, all he feels is heat spreading all over his body. He yells out as Kendall snaps his hips, and he starts moving, both their moans filling the room.

Kendall's pounding out a rhythm, a steady beat against his ass, and James is drowning, he can't see properly, so he reaches out for Kendall, pulling him down to meet his lips, and he scratches down Kendall's back, his nails digging into his hips.

The burning sensation increases, but Kendall stops moving. James looks at him, but he sees Kendall staring at James, almost as if he can't believe the brunet's there.

"Kendall," James says, brushing a hand across his cheek, the blonde snaps back into reality, offering an embarrassed smile. He kneels upright, spreading James legs, holding them there, and starts fucking James into oblivion.

James is thrusting down to meet Kendall's movements. "Ken- _fuck", _he moans, as Kendall strikes his prostate, and James sees white. He can feel his orgasm building up, and he wraps a hand around his dick, but Kendall brushes it away.

The blonde wraps his hand around the brunet's member, and it's just a matter of minutes, and a few thrusts, and James is coming, his vision going black, his body raising up off the bed, arching. He opens his eyes, breathing hard, to see Kendall staring at him in awe.

"Come for me," James urges Kendall, and he clenches around Kendall's dick, and the blonde whimpers, before moaning out James' name, filling him to the brim.

The blonde collapses next to him, and the sexual tension hanging in the air was so thick that he could probably cut it with a knife. Then, giggling.

James looks at him, confused. "Ken- Why are you giggling?"

"That was..." Kendall gestures, his hands swinging lazily in the air. "That was probably the _best _sex ever, Jamie." He turns to his side, looking at James. "I...", he swallows, hard. "I missed you, babe."

James looks away. His body is still buzzing from the _best orgasm ever_, and he really doesn't want to have this conversation now. "So why did you leave?"

There's silence, then he feels Kendall's weight leave the bed. His hands come up to cover his face, thinking about he's probably screwed up again. There's shuffling, and he assumes Kendall's probably going again. That's all he is to anyone: a fuck buddy.

So that's why he's astonished when he feel's Kendall's body next to him again. He opens his eyes, and Kendall's holding wipes out to him, and he cleans himself. Kendall hands him a pair of clean boxers that he found in James' suitcase. Kendall shrugs on a robe, and ties it securely around his waist.

In only a matter of minutes, they're both staring at the ceiling. They could hear the beat of the bass below, barely. James sighs. "Kendall-"

"No- Jamie. I'm sorry. I- I don't know what to say besides that."

James clenches his fists, but no, he's not mad, just confused, and upset. "How about you explain what happened on _that_ day?"

Kendall turns to him, eyes wide. "It was a mistake, Jamie. I was confused. I realized that afterwards, but I was so wrong. I was scared and confused, but I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry, baby."

And just like that, James forgives him.

Because that's the effect Kendall has on him. James melts around Kendall. He turns to Kendall, placing a kiss on the boy's lips. "Don't worry about it, Kenny. I forgive you."

They fall asleep, James' head on Kendall's chest, listening to his heartbeat.

* * *

It's the next morning, and as James stretches awake, he sees Kendall standing in the light that's shining in the room. He's facing the mirror, and James could see the pain in his eyes reflected as he buttons up his shirt.

His hair is still askew, but seems as if he doesn't care. James scrambles off the bed, asking him why he was leaving, and if he doesn't see that they were meant to be together.

Kendall sighs, and, placing a hand on James' face, kisses him on his lips. James closes his eyes, relishing the moment, as Kendall pulls away and says to meet him in the lobby when he's finished getting dressed.

James gets dressed in record time, and when he flies down to the lobby to meet Kendall, he looks around.

Kendall's not there.

**Review? Agh... I took really long to type this up, and the entire time I wanted to cry because of Klaine feels asdfghjkdsfefn ;( **

**I will definitely be back properly after June 12th. So probably one or two updates until then :) Don't miss me too much xoxo**

**Au revoir,**

**Chelzi xx**


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